Intestate Thoughts

[BillBrosky]

Once when I was little, right before the preacher called for prayer, I rolled up a gum wrapper like a cigarette and stuck in in the mouth of a cabbage patch doll laying on the pew in front of me. Me and my friend next to me could not contain our giggling during the prayer. It was the closing prayer and my mother drug me out of the church by my arm and I was already bawling. The preacher asked, "Is he all right?". My mother responded, "He's about to not be!." Took me into a Sunday School room and wore me out.

Calling BS on "the pew in front of me". Confess and the truth shall set you free. Whose doll, you or the friend?

[Big Balls]

Calling BS on "the pew in front of me". Confess and the truth shall set you free. Whose doll, you or the friend?

et tu Bill?

[Stan]

It was a rough weekend for sure. The lake on Saturday was a bust. Me and the wife have decided that the kids hate the boat and their asses can stay at home from now on. I had to work Sunday and make a mad dash home in time for bible school. Then they act like fools, except the oldest. He’s the one that would normally be talking during prayer or whatever else a kid shouldn’t be doing. Boys will be boys I suppose.

[Biff]

So now I've got to add bluetooth to my car because of this new hands free law

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[Barney Stinson]

So now I've got to add bluetooth to my car because of this new hands free law

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I refuse on principle.

[Stan]

I added my Bluetooth to my truck because it kept saying add phone or something that I had to keep hitting cancel. Well played .gov

[Hannibal Lecter MD]

It was a rough weekend for sure. The lake on Saturday was a bust. Me and the wife have decided that the kids hate the boat and their asses can stay at home from now on. I had to work Sunday and make a mad dash home in time for bible school. Then they act like fools, except the oldest. He’s the one that would normally be talking during prayer or whatever else a kid shouldn’t be doing. Boys will be boys I suppose.

You need more recliner time, Stan.

[RhinoGuy]

Can't you use speaker phone?

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[Biff]

Nope, you literally cannot touch your phone. Can't even rest it on your leg.

Yet, fat bitches can put on makeup and eat cheeseburgers all day in the car. No problem.

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[BillBrosky]

Nope, you literally cannot touch your phone. Can't even rest it on your leg.

Yet, fat bitches can put on makeup and eat cheeseburgers all day in the car. No problem.

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Or a cop pulling you over whilst smacking on a donut.

[BillBrosky]

It was a rough weekend for sure. The lake on Saturday was a bust. Me and the wife have decided that the kids hate the boat and their asses can stay at home from now on. I had to work Sunday and make a mad dash home in time for bible school. Then they act like fools, except the oldest. He’s the one that would normally be talking during prayer or whatever else a kid shouldn’t be doing. Boys will be boys I suppose.

You have privileged kids, Stan. Keep on beating them until you beat it out.

[BillBrosky]

I refuse on principle.

You're a rebel, just because.

[quack quack bang]

Nope, you literally cannot touch your phone. Can't even rest it on your leg.

Yet, fat bitches can put on makeup and eat cheeseburgers all day in the car. No problem.

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[Big Balls]

Nope, you literally cannot touch your phone. Can't even rest it on your leg.

Yet, fat bitches can put on makeup and eat cheeseburgers all day in the car. No problem.

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Georgia is stupid

Meanwhile..in Texas....

[quack quack bang]

He's gonna get a bitchin' tan line